Dear Annie: I have a wonderful son. He’s kind, generous, loving and easygoing to a fault. I’ve always had good relationships with his girlfriends. He’s been seeing a new woman for about four months now who, on paper, is perfect for him, and she loves me.
The problem I’m having is, she tends to make comments and little digs at his expense. For example, it’ll be something along the lines of, “Of course I told him to do this — and of course he forgot.” It’s literally every time we’re together. Sometimes he stands up for himself, sometimes he doesn’t. We all have an awkward laugh and I change the subject. I really don’t want to dislike her, but I don’t know what to do without going full “mom-commander” mode. Any suggestions? — Mama Trying Not to Meddle
Dear Mama: You’re right to be irked by those comments. A lighthearted tease every once in a while is one thing, but if this girl’s ragging on him every time you see her, it’s become a bad pattern. Not only is she putting him down, but she’s doing it publicly, which certainly isn’t the best or most productive way to give a partner feedback.
Next time she makes a remark, try addressing it with “Oh, he deserves a little more credit than that,” or pointing to something he didn’t forget. A subtle comment back may help her realize she’s coming off harsh without awkwardly confronting her about it. And if that doesn’t do the trick, talk to your son directly. Ultimately, it’s not so much that you dislike this girl but that you want to protect him and see him treated well. I’m sure your son will be able to tell and appreciate that your heart’s in the right place.
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“How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now! Annie Lane’s second anthology — featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation — is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit Creators Publishing for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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