Streaming Wednesday, June 3:
Clarkson’s Farm — Austerity rears its ugly head in Season 5, as Jeremy’s operation is hit by government budget cuts and he has to turn to modern technology to stanch the bleeding. Unfortunately, that technology consists of a holographic Liz Truss growing lettuce. (Prime Video)
The Legend of Vox Machina — Season 4 of the D&D-derived fantasy catches up with its team of adventurers a year after they went their separate ways to pursue personal fulfillment. But now they’re brought back together to fend off a mortal threat to their entire realm. Given what I know of gaming, I guess that means Megacon needs more room for the tattooing. (Prime Video)
Michael Jackson: The Verdict — Everything legal wouldn’t let Antoine Fuqua show in Michael gets covered in this three-part docuseries that looks into the molestation allegations that nearly dethroned the King of Pop. You know, until he made the wise career move of dying so everybody would stop talking about Jesus juice. (Netflix)
Streaming Thursday, June 4:
Maa Behen — A small-town Indian mom and her two daughters have to do some quick thinking to minimize the fallout when a dead body turns up in their kitchen. Step one: an open letter to RFK Jr. requesting an investigation into what the hell is in Mop ’n Glo. (Netflix)
The Murder of Rachel Nickell — In advance of the dramatized series The Witness (see below), learn the true facts of the London mother who was killed in front of her 2-year-old in 1992, and the innocent man who was wrongly fingered as the culprit. But back then, see, we’d blame Michael Jackson for anything. (Netflix)
Night Shift for Cuties — Remember I Wanna Hold Your Hand, the 1978 Robert Zemeckis flick about obsessed fans trying to get close to the Fab Four at the height of Beatlemania? The modern-day equivalent is an eight-episode series in which two Indonesian gal pals vie for the chance to meet their favorite K-pop band. Not sure why it has to be a competition, because any of those outfits worth its salt has about six members. And if a girl can’t be happy having three Koreans all to herself, she needs to talk to her therapist about setting realistic expectations. (Netflix)
Poldi — I’m going to warn you up front: There are three goddamn soccer shows this week. (Isn’t that freakin’ World Cup over yet?) First up at bat — or whatever the hell terminology they use in that so-called sport — is a documentary about Polish-German player turned club owner Lukas Podolski, caught up with here on the verge of what may or may not prove to be the last of his more than one announced retirements. Sure, but when Roger Daltrey does it, we act like he’s Aileen Wuornos. (Netflix)
The Witness — The son she left behind is the focus of a series that personalizes the Rachel Nickell killing (see above), which left young Andre to find his way in the world with only his father, Alex, for protection and guidance. That’s a tragedy, all right: If only Alex had been with them that fateful night, the kid could have grown up to be Batman. (Netflix)
Streaming Friday, June 5:
Cape Fear — The format of the streaming series is the latest platform for John D. McDonald’s apparently deathless story of an ex-convict (Javier Bardem) who’s out for revenge against the defense lawyer (Patrick Wilson) who failed to keep him out of prison. This time, the attorney’s wife (Amy Adams) isn’t just an innocent bystander but his law partner, which I guess somebody thought would make it more palatable to the audience when the Max Cady character involves her in his campaign of retribution. Because nobody who’s passed the bar can be totally innocent, right? Other than Dan Newlin, I mean. (Apple TV)
The Marked Woman — A lady detective has a real mystery on her hands when an amnesia victim is found inside a shipping container in Barcelona. Wanna bet Amazon was supposed to deliver her to Portugal and Spain just needs to invest in a good Ring camera? (Netflix)
Mexico 86 — Goddamn Soccer Show No. 2 is a satirical dramatization of the bid Mexico floated to host the 1986 World Cup after Colombia pulled out. OK, this one might actually be decent, especially if they got somebody suitably sympathetic to play Colombia. Maybe Noah Wyle? (Netflix)
Office Romance — With her Vegas residency wrapped up, JLo tries to keep her keister in the public eye by starring as a businesswoman who pursues a clandestine affair with one of her male subordinates (Brett Goldstein). Yes, we’re now wringing good-natured fun out of scenarios even Michael Crichton knew were skeevy 30 years ago. Come to think of it, The Andromeda Strain was just COVID with more dance numbers. (Netflix)
Teach You a Lesson — South Korea floats a vision of generational payback, in the form of an elite paramilitary team that’s deployed to defend beleaguered schoolteachers from violent students. At any other time, I’d call this out as rank youth-bashing. But given that one of my own teacher friends recently had to flee to a safe house after one of her kids threatened her life and her school’s administration declined to do anything about it, I’m starting to think the biggest problem with Joe Clark was that he only carried a baseball bat instead of a howitzer. (Netflix)
Streaming Monday, June 8:
Alice and Steve — Fifty-something pals Nicola Walker and Jemaine Clement are thick as thieves, until he starts dating her 20-something daughter. Which, I think we can all agree, is simply shameful behavior anywhere outside the White House Press Room. (Hulu)
Streaming Tuesday, June 9:
Norway: The Dark Horse — The week’s third and final Goddamn Soccer Program takes two documentary episodes to explore the significance of Norway’s 26-year absence from the World Cup, which ended only this season. Wait, do they call it a season in soccer? Or is it a term? Or just “something we’ve all agreed to do to pass the time while we’re waiting for hockey”? (Netflix)
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The post Streaming: Can Javier Bardem out-Robert Mitchum Bobby De Niro? Find out in Apple TV’s new ‘Cape Fear’ appeared first on Orlando Weekly.